Monthly Archives: August 2010

ease…

 
 He looked so comfortable, lovable
 She excitedly jumped into his lap
 Arms wrapping around the back of his neck
Her face burrowed into the space below his ear
Breathing him in
 
His arms closed around her
Hands to the small of her back
Fingertips finding, soothing
His lips caressed her brow
Easing her confused mind
 
Somehow his flesh was real
No longer foreign
Words drifting into her ear
Sighs caught without the distance
 
Her relief was palpable in the air
Surrounding everything it touched
Her limbs melting into
His body accepting
The hair at his nape
Swirled through her fingers
The solace she sought..

 

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devour

tall, golden, azure eyed.

she couldn’t help herself. he was the new perfection.

he lightly pulled the back of her smooth neck, under mahagony strands, towards him.

her seafoam eyes peaked out of ebony lashes, into his own.

lip on lip full out touch. hungry.

tongues lash together.

his hand found the curve of her cheek.

she gripped the hard ridges of his sides, over his soft cotton undershirt.

bodies pressed into one.

luscious fullness against stone chest.

sliding hand against arched back, bringing closer.

his mouth repeatedly devoured.

clothes were torn away urgently.

her hands treked behind his neck,

he lifted her up, legs guided to his waist.

her thighs gripped hips.

still entwined, he lowered the two to the floor.

his lips skimmed her collarbone,

hair fell in waves down her back.

nails into his shoulders,

she enveloped him, one.

 

all this pain is an illusion…

Today, was my first day not feeling depressed in a while. If I allow myself to dwell on problems, it would return. Instead, I’m thinking of a smile I saw today. I’m listening to Tool and realizing, that maybe I’m not as fucked up as I thought. I’m wondering where my life is leading. I’m reading a funny book. I’m napping while dreaming of being hugged. I’m feeling a little content with my looks. I’m resting my head on my puppy, while he licks my nose. Today, I’m noticing the little things. Today, I’ve had that smile to console me.

Surfaced with the blame…

After our conversation last week things have been odd. He had told me, not to worry about it. Apparently it was as if I had never said a word. As days pass, I’m noticing his increasingly veiled comments.
“Were you attracted to him?” Nods in the direction of a guy.
“Yes.” No point in withdrawing the honesty now.

“I was at her house earlier.. I’ve been going over there quite a bit.” He’s joking..
Trying to bait me? See if I’ll act jealously?

I am left pondering, is he coming around to the idea? Or just making me think that telling him was okay?

‘The pure and simple truth, is rarely pure and never simple..’ – Oscar Wilde

“I only want to be honest.” That was a lie. Honesty is not skirting the truth. Saying I was curious, was the truth. Saying, I want this, was the full truth. I was scared, I thought I should ease into it. I dipped one toe in, then said, fuck it, dove all the way. I guess it was the boldness of my nature, to completely say it. “I would sleep with other guys, if it was alright with you.” He almost ignored the statement. Brushed it away like a bad dream. As it festered in him, he blew up. I panicked, I love him. I want to be with him. Although, my statement, yes, it was true. You can’t turn something into fiction that large.

Take it easy baby…

 

‘Well she was an American girl
Raised on promises
She couldn’t help thinkin’
That there was a little more to life somewhere else
After all it was a great big world
With lots of places to run to…’

– Tom Petty

 

it’s your heart…

I honestly I cannot stop thinking about this song. I was introduced to Foals on another blog about a month and a half ago. Everything is right about this song: music, lyrics, voice. 

“Oh, do you know, you give me this western feeling??”