Monthly Archives: September 2010

medicated

1253497253happy

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quicksand

oh fuck

Image via http://empressofkink.tumblr.com

Immediately feel your hands at my waist
Imagine pushing you against the wall
Ripping the button off your pants
I want to know what you feel like
Cupped in my palm
To know how your tongue glides on my skin
Would you flush with heat as fast as my heartbeat?
The rough curve of your jaw marking me in smudged streaks
Air thick with barely audible
Sobs and collusion of skin against skin
Fingertips weaving through my hair
Coaxing me into you further
Seeking the exquisite pain
Of this secret fantasy…

educate

He grips one hand above her head
His other kneading her hip
Her hair tangles against the wall

A voice whispers
As lips find the lobe of her ear
She is bad

He will show her the light
While trembling in the darkness

Her frenzied body arches to combine
Fever ridden
Silky flesh

No, be patient
He murmurs urgently
Appreciate the gift

Inside pulsing beyond control
Blue as flame

Her teeth catch onto
His lower lip
He absorbs her whimper
As a hot breath
Floats and fills him

in each others’ shadow we grew less and less small…

lost_in_your_forest_by_cerque-d2xhy76

“Lost in Your Forest”

 

Colours_and_Concepts_by_Cerque

“Colours and Concepts”

I love this guy’s artwork! To check out more go to:

http://cerque.deviantart.com/

this one’s for me…

Sometimes there’s an itch, and you want to scratch it so badly.. I have that itch, but it’s as if my hands are tied above my head. The more my hands try to loosen, my wrists chafe. Frustration mounts. My mind cries out for help. Finally exhaustion looms, the battle is lost. Sleep until another day. Another day, not able to scratch.

 

storm

sunshine cloudspicnik His eyes are a meeting
Of the summer blue sky
And a late afternoon storm

She imagines being able
To look into them freely
Across a table
Hovering over her face

Her stomach catches
Breath stutters
When he turns that
Charming broad smile
Her way

His hand slid forward
Fingertips graze her arm
Eyes fluttered up
Realization sparks

The slight crook of her smile
Yes
The answer is yes.

I guess I’m no good.. I guess I’m insane.

While reading: http://cheatingmyself.wordpress.com/2010/09/09/mental-illness-and-cheating/

It got me thinking about how I’ve recently been pondering my mental status. I’ve said, more than once, “maybe I need to go back on medicine, could it be my bipolar showing up?”. I have yet to discuss this with a doctor, I almost don’t want to. I can’t imagine having to tell a doctor, that I don’t know, “I told my husband I would sleep with other men, with his permission. Is this my bipolar?” The numbness I felt while on medication previously, isn’t something I would necessarily want to repeat. But- what if I don’t really want these things? Okay, maybe I’d still want them, but would be able to push it out of my mind easier. Is it the impulsive, promiscuous side of my nature just pushing through?

On the numbness issue, I’ve never felt as numb and devoid of all feeling as a couple of weeks ago. Everything was a fog, a haze. One day, I woke up and that nothingness had lessened. I’m still depressed, I still feel impulsive. I am actually feeling though.. At what price?

curiousity kitten..

I’m thinking that listening to Counting Crows is probably a bad idea in my current frame of mind. I find myself relating to the girls he’s singing about. 🙂

last cigarettes..

I can’t seem to forget

Dancing in the middle of the room

Your hands held mine

Your wavy hair brushed my face

Laughter ensued

Whiskey had possibly been imbibed

The words ringing in my ears

More poignant than you realized…

 

 

there will come a time…

This is my song at the moment…