frustrating self love


I’ve discovered recently that since I write about my fantasies, I get a little out of control while masturbating. It’s like the scene is being written out in my head as I fondle myself. Sometimes I lose a little pleasure because my mind is working over drive on how I want the fantasy to be.

Is he on top of me and I’m grabbing his hair? Or is it the opposite?

Is he fucking her, oblivious to me watching? Or is he watching me, me not noticing him?

Where are we at? In the car? At a house?

See how this gets confusing for me? Scenes shifting rapidly, so it ends up being totally disjointed. It’s okay to let yourself run wild, that’s what fantasies are for. I just need to learn how to not analyze so much. I may just be a freak. Anyone else have this issue?  Smile

Image via : Fuck the Sex

Posted on August 25, 2011, in Life and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.

  1. Oh gosh I thought it was just me. If I’m wanking along to fantasies, my mind jumps from one scenario to the next, far too quickly to really get into any one of them. It ends up being a very frustrating set of cameos, none of which stay there for long enough for me to orgasm. To the extent that it’s rarely something I do.

    Luckily I’d much rather cum with an audience, and whilst being hurt, so I rarely have the opportunity for solo play.

    Interesting blog.

    sev xx

  2. Hi Song. For me, when I’m masturbating, yes I do have fragmented and disjointed”flashes” of stimulus, especially at the start, but I find it not too difficult to focus on one, and take that one to orgasm.

    I wonder whether you find your confused fantasies give you a lesser or more intense orgasm than ones when you are focussed on a particular fantasy?

    Soph xx

    • Thanks for your input Soph. I think my orgasms are better once I can focus. It seems like a shorter O when I am in that confused state. I noticed after I wrote this, when I am getting close to orgasm, my mind normally settles on one scene. It’s funny because it’s almost like I want all of those things to happen and I can’t decide which I want most. Maybe what I want most, is what I focus on at the end, bringing me to completion. 😉

  3. Anyone else have this issue?

    Um…no. No, I don’t. For obvious reasons.

  4. I know just what you mean! It’s like I feel this should be a real story, when in fact what I need is just different scenarios with maybe some consequences. Well, the mind wonders sometimes during sex too, so why wouldn’t it, when I’m alone? Most of the time I know exactly what’s in the scene, but then dropping that one and moving onto a next one with little or nothing to do with the first. That can make my head spin. Especially if one of them is of my wonderful Wonderboy and the others just plain fantasies. 🙂

  5. Can I just say that pic you chose is crazy-hot? Who needs video porn when I have that to look at.
    Oh, yeah, and about your post, my imagination jumps all over the place too, sometimes making me laugh because I’ve lost track of one stream while jumping to another.

  6. I dread any appearance by Jerry Lewis in my fantasies.

    Great photo!

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