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let it go; it won’t be long now

The most common sexual conversation the Hubs and I have been having for around six months is the debate of anal sex. I’ve always felt myself an open and adventurous person but this has consistently been a ‘no’ coming out of my mouth. A little backstory..

When I was eighteen, bright eyed and curious, I had a ‘friends with benefits’ situation with a twenty-three year old. He had obviously done a lot more than I had, and was very open with his past to me. I knew that a previous girlfriend and he had done anal frequently. I was interested, intrigued. Finally one night I decided to give it a try. A little liquor in me, (but in no way intoxicated) I felt ready.

Here’s the thing, I barely remember the lead up, or even much about it. Other than the fact that it was extremely painful. I ponder now if there wasn’t enough lube, if I just wasn’t ready, if he wasn’t the right one to try it with. I do remember that he was very gentle and understanding, once the tears sprang from my eyes he withdrew. Never did we try again.

This was seven years ago, and I can’t get over it. I can’t push away the memory of how horrid it was. Even though I really want to try it, my paranoia is overtaking my desire. I’ve told the Hubs that when I am ready, I will definitely let him know. He is a somewhat of a flip-flopper on this subject. While we fuck he begs me to stick it in my ass, then later will say he was just fucking around. He’s used his fingers some, normally I am okay, sometimes I have to tell him to stop. I have even told him that his cock is so big it intimidates me. Yet, I love for him to just touch it, for him to fuck me doggie style his body hitting into it hard, or pushing my ass cheeks apart.

This is definitely the one thing I am trying to open my mind to. Even buying some expensive new lube recently, hoping to let him know, it won’t be long now…

3- A somewhat magic number

This story is at the request of http://woodynyou.wordpress.com/.

When I was 20 years old I dated a crazy guy. He was 27 I think, and very different than what I was used to. He had fair good looks, freckled skin, blonde hair, angular face, green eyes. We were ‘together’ for around 7 months. Depending on your definition of ‘together’. 😉 Aka, there were other men in my life, as I am sure there were other women in his. Around the time he and I got ‘together’, I also became very close to a woman I had worked with briefly. She was the same age as he was. It turned out, they had slept together before I had known either. She and I actually lived together briefly, but we spent a lot of time at his place.

One night, I was going to head to his house, and she wanted to go. The three of us got into his bed and put a movie on. One thing led to another of course, and he and I went at it. Clothes were discarded, mouths devoured. I got on my knees, and he proceeded to fuck me. She seemed pretty ambivalent to the situation, right next to us, watching the movie. I can’t remember exactly how it came about, but…

I was on my back, legs wrapped around his waist, the heels of my feet pressing into his lower back, urging him further and faster into me. He glanced at her, mid-thrust, and told her to suck on my tits.
**Back story: She had always loved my breasts, they were bigger and much fuller than hers.**
She immediately obliged. Licking my nipples and squeezing my tits with her whole hands. She kissed my mouth a few times. I’m pretty sure I reached out and grabbed hers also a couple of times.

This went on until the finish. She and I had a tendency to kiss while intoxicated on occasion, but that was as far as it ever went between us. And I will say, that was not the first time he and I had a sexual experience with another person. That story will be told another time. .. 😉