I always had what I would describe as a “thing” for being dominant. But I could never fully put myself into it. I would occasionally smack my hubs with the crop but it was normally a laughing matter. Not really to be taken seriously. I eventually decided my horse crop and flogger needed to touch flesh, for real. I’ve written about this before, how my hubs eventually got into doing these things. But I just now realized, it was for me. Yes, I asked him to act a certain way, to hit me with objects, but I didn’t command him to do it.
I ran across a blog post, http://delvingintodeviance.wordpress.com/2011/06/03/the-devaluation-of-male-submission/. Something that was said struck me:
I love pain. It makes me come. I instruct him in exactly what kind of pain I like and how to administer it, just as I tell him exactly how I want him to lick my cunt or finger me. I tell my submissive to do something that makes me come, and he does it. Exterior trappings or individual acts are not what make dominance and submission. It is the connection, the control; one person leading another on a journey of trust and intimacy. I am the one who leads.
Since “I am the one who leads” in those situations in my life, does that make me the dominant? Even though he is “acting” as one?
I haven’t written about one of the last times we pulled a prop out. It was my flogger, and I am pretty sure he was the one who said to get it. But once it was out, I instructed him what to do.
He was to hit and tease me with it, while I played with myself. I also wanted him to tell me to do things and if I said ‘no’, to hit me with the flogger. This worked incredible, my skin pink, from excitement and the lingering of leather to flesh. I came incredibly hard as the flogger continuously fondled and stung me.
After, he shoved his cock into my face and said “Suck my dick.”
Wanting to follow through on our plan, I looked him straight in the face, “No.”
Then he broke! He sheepishly nodded and said, “Okay.”
I got irritated- “What the fuck? You are supposed to tell me I have to. And hit me if I balk.”
He slipped back into dominant mode and did as I had instructed him. This was incredible, albeit slightly unreal because I knew he was really having to think about what was happening, not just doing.
So here’s my source of pondering, am I the dominant one? The line is too blurry for me to see clearly.
Last night, I suppose I was feeling pretty randy. While the dinner was in the oven, I went to our bedroom and changed into my black corset and hot pink lace boy shorts. We played a game, and ate dinner. All while I wore lingerie. After dinner I pulled out my whip, and gave it to the Hubs. He proceeded to slap me all over with it.
I got on my knees, towards one end. He tugged my corset up, and whipped my bare back. My panties were pulled off, and he slid into my wetness. He fucked me, while continuously whipping me. It hurt, but it was a thrill. I wanted to growl, and do all kinds of primal things. He told me to get onto my back. I spread my legs to greet him. My corset has hook and eye closures all down the front, I undid a few so he could push my breasts out. He then whipped my breasts, particularly the nipples, over and over as he drove into me. I’ve never felt such exquisite pain and pleasure at the same time. My nipples were stinging, and felt like they were on fire. But, it only spurred me on further.
I played with myself while he continued his onslaught, coming fairly fast. Wrapped up in the endorphin rush through my brain. I felt almost dizzy, and incoherent for a while.
The only limit I reached, was when he tried to put the crop across my mouth. It hurt. I had to tell him no on that one. I was surprised how far he took it, really reveling in fucking me hard, and showing his dominance. After, I had quite a few red marks, and today, I still feel a little sore in some spots. But— it was well worth it. I hope for a repeat performance soon.
**Sorry the Zeppelin Lounger pic sucks, it was the only one I could find…**